we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
