dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
