"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
