dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
