Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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