so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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