I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
