i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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