So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
