Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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