babies were throwing up all over the place
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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