Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
