omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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