i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The feeling are messing with the penis
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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