when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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