your room smells of hookers.
And success
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
