you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
