how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
