Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
