3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
well I can't set my house on fire every night
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
