3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
