hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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