I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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