Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It's shark week go big or go home
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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