There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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