I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
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