you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
