Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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