Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
