i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
