i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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