my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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