hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
