Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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