I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
