I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
