i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
