hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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