But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
