my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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