I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize