she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
