you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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