so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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