I want to stick my p in your. b.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
