And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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