His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
