i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
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Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
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This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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