No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
