Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
