I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
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I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
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This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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