It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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