it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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