You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You're breaking my sexual little heart
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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