dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
