this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
