she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize