If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
