Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
