It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
