you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
