you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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